IO, the airline you quote appears to have some very significant problems. They appear directly to affect safety, and I would be very unhappy flying for them. Generally the safety culture in an airline comes from the top, as does the rest of the "nature" of the organisation. If the company's management is blind to the problems or unwilling to address them, then (in the UK at least) I would address letters higher up - viz, the CAA or CHIRPS. I don't know if you have such an organisation there, but if not, you should.
However, that having been said, I understand the unwillingness to get oneself deeper in the mire, and I agree with your point about, in quietly having a word with one or two other pilots, keeping identities concealed.
Finally, whatever he says, an FO is always more than the Captain's sexual advisor ("When I want your f***ing advice I'll ask for it"). Self preservation alone should see to that. I don't want to fly with anyone who will gleefully watch me screw it up, and while I do so endanger his life into the bargain.
I always reckon that, on the flight deck, I'm looking out for him, and hope he's also looking out for me. We're a team. If I miss something, I hope he'll bring it to my attention. If he misses something, I'll do the same for him. I'm not trying to score points. I'm trying to survive.