The ID pax should get last choice of meal. Basically because they haven't paid full fare versus commercial pax. What I tend to do in J class, is to ask ID pax (if there are any) what they'd like to eat, and also ask for a second choice (just in case). This tends to work really well. I can't understand why the crew behaved like they did, as it would surely create more hassle for them.
Gg