I'm sure you do Bagso, but as kind as your offer is, the Apache gods are usually armed with a weapon known as the white box of death.
It contains such goodies as a Wrights Pasty, and a bag of Champion crisps. You'll never have heard of these by the way, as no level headed person would ever buy one. The MoD are the biggest customer of Champion crisps.... indeed probably the only customer.
Bensons crisps were similarly kept afloat by the MoD contract up until a few years back... once the MoD realised they were **** and pulled the plug, the company folded. So you can imagine how great Champion are.