Egbkflyer
You can't retire boy, we'll be short handed.
Rather than answer all the PMs individually, here is a brief explanation of the next Olympic sport, Welterbaiting.
Once upon a time in a land far,far away was an airline captain who could moan about anything and I mean anything. I even jumped in a taxi once and the driver asked me if I knew this captain. It was because the captain had been in his taxi and moaned for a whole hour to a complete stranger about...well everything. The taxi driver was glad the trip was only for one hour. As it happens, I did know him.
However moaning was not his best attribute. I don't know the noun to describe what he was best at, but it went something like this.
Anything you had done, he had done better or faster or first, you get the idea. If you had climbed Everest, he had climbed it higher. And so on.
But it gets even better because he was so full of sh!t, he would get even more remarkable in his unbelievable boasts. Imagine the poor FOs who had to listen to this guy for hour upon hour in the cruise.
Eventually the FOs came up with a new sport, yup Welterbaiting. Essentially they would feed him a ridiculous line and see just how much further he would go to beat their story. The responses were phenomenal. From being the New Pope's best mate to being a Plastic Surgeon specialising in boob jobs before being a Mig Pilot and so on.
By all accounts he wasn't a bad pilot, and he was actually one of those characters that are sadly missing in our industry now that the requirement is for robots.
I thought I could bullsh!t really well, but I realise now I'm such an amateur. You see, he could even bullsh!t BETTER than anyone.