Subsonic,
Your first two lessons learned are good lessons to learn, and good observations. The fourth is perhaps misplaced. You're not an idiot for learning.
The third observation is subjective; flaps in gusty conditions are fine so long as you're prepared...but in that particular airplane, less is more. Less flap is more ability to go around on the very limited power you have, and the most important part of that lesson is how it may apply to you specifically. What works for others may not work for you given your own background, training, experience, etc...and it's most important that you do what works for you.
Experience is often one of the best teachers, but it also sometimes comes with the highest price tag.