102 cm waist measurement? Are they mental?
My right ankle beats that and I am a hostie for BMI aged 31, so they can jolly well shove it through the escape hatch (sideways, in case it doesn't fit first time).
They ought to be sued for being fattist.
Pork Scratchings anyone?
Editor's note: For anybody who isn't Scottish, Pork Scratchings are a crisp-like snack, in a similar packet. The contents resemble crisps but are much bulkier, on account of the vast amounts of lard that have been injected into them. Imagine, if you will, the lithe Elvis Presley in his heyday singing 'Jailhouse Rock' to an audience of swooning teenage girls throwing their knickers at him as he gyrated his hips on stage. Follow that image with a grossly overweight Elvis many years later croaking on a toilet, alone, clutching a burger, and you'll have a fairly good grasp of the crisps/scratchings analogy.
Thank you. And next time somebody asks for pork scratchings, you should politely decline. You have been warned.