Wonderful - good for the Crabs and I don't say that often! BUT GOLF!!
There are some things that are so uncool they become, in a strange way, cool, but golfing is not one of them. Golf is so irretrievably uncool that it comes with its own anti-fashion, including sun visors, horrendous shoes, and shirts with insurance company logos on them. For men, a devotion to golf often indicates a wholesale embrace of middle age, the putting aside of childish things like not being fat or caring about what sort of jumpers you put on. For women, a sudden devotion to golf is often a sign that you have, for reasons best known to yourself, married someone much older than you. Having established that golf is transcendentally uncool, we must concede that it is popular nevertheless. For non-golfers the point of the game has always been a bit of a mystery. It doesn't, on the face of it, look like much fun. It is not, as any non player who has visited a golf course will testify, generally played by the sort of people one wants to hang out with. And yet still people succumb to it. We may conclude from this that golf is in some way addictive. The evidence is certainly there: a staggering proportion of the game's celebrity adherents have been sequestered for addiction treatment in the past. It's astonishingly popular among party-animal rockers who, through no fault of their own, have accidentally lived past 30. Add to this the fact that it’s on a par with darts in terms of physical exertion, and you have a perfect sport for a whole generation of people who forgot to die in a hotel room in the 1980s, and are consequently at a loose end. It would be a harmless way of keeping them out of the way if only it weren’t such an inefficient use of space. If we could only get them interested in deck quoits, then we could house the lot of them in a space the size of a tennis court.
