Totally unrelated but I thought I'd relate it (!) anyway....
Many moons ago, I took my late Grandmother out to dinner at (what I then thought) was quite a posh resturant.
At the time she had two new hips and was failing (85) although still as bright as a button upstairs.
She was also slightly hard of hearing which meant she shouted everything at you.
Anyway, after a nice meal, I paid by credit card. I then rummaged around my pockets for some change- didn't have any.
So I said "Nan, do you have a couple of pound coins"
Rather loudly she said,
"POUND COINS? WHAT DO YOU WANT THEM FOR?"
"To give the waiter a tip" I replied" (quite sotto voce as the waiter was nearby)
"TIP?" she bellowed
"I'LL GIVE HIM THE TIP OF MY UMBRELLA UP HIS ARSE IF HE'S NOT CAREFUL"
Absolutely true and I almost died of embarrassment.
