OK judging time.
Lots of good ones here so thanks to you all.
Mentioned in dispatches:
JagRigger "Prince Charles little talked about first Navy post.............."
pohm1 "The only drawback with the new wave-powered ipod was waiting for the tide to come in."
pohm1 does it play wav files? Surely it's an earpod?
But the winner is LurkerBelow with, "Ok, we should now be able to get the definitive answer to the question: who f*rted?"
LurkerBelow you have control.