My current work schedule has me doing an unusually large amount of passengering on other airlines around Europe and North America at the moment. It is certainly a cathartic experience if nothing else.
Normally I will check in on-line and usually print my boarding pass at one of the airport machines. No problem so far. Next it is off to the "Fast bag drop." It is here that the system usually falls over. It certainly is the queue to drop off your bags, but I am not sure where the term "fast" comes from. Certainly the queue isn't usually fast. I fully appreciate that the introduction of new technology is supposed to result in cost savings by streamlining the check-in process (less staff), but when you do eventually reach the head of the queue, it still seems as if the check-in agent has to type the first 3 pages of her autobiography into the computer terminal before the connected printer finally spits out the terminally adhesive luggage label that enables the loaders (after their tailored game of rugby) to prove just how wrong Samsonites proud luggage claims actually are! Now I understand that the check-in agent is responsible for checking your documents, to ensure the airline isn't charged a ransom for importing you as an undesirable into some foreign port. I also understand that there are security checks that they are also tasked with undertaking. But why do they use the term "Fast" when it takes so long!
In the last few weeks I had one check in at LHR T2 where I arrived as number 3 in the fast bag drop (great!) only to have the single check-in agent on duty (for one flight to Paris and a partner airlines flight to Moscow) then decide to take his "croissant break". 15 minutes it then took for somebody else to arrive and complete the 3 minute nuclear
snapcount procedure that is seemingly required to log on to the system. By this time the Queue of 3 had grown to one resembling the opening day of a new thrill ride in Disneyland!
Then there was the fast bag drop at a large North American airlines counter at some airport in the new world recently. That airline had 6 flights out that whole day and I arrived at STD-2 hours. It seemed the airline had a technical problem with an earlier flight and all the passengers from that flight had to be reprotected on other flights. These things happen of course, but all these passengers had to queue up at the fast bag drop to check in again for their new re-routed service. The queue couldn't have been any longer if they had been giving out hundred dollar bills gratis! After some 45 minutes of moving three feet in an elasticated snake that seemed to encompass the population of 4 small nations, it was obvious that I would miss the flight unless I resorted to drastic measures. Armed with a determined glare and my airline ID card in hand I extricated myself from the early constrictions of the elastic boa and headed for the relative order and tranquility of the airlines First class check-in line. That worked.
Terminal 5 last week, and burned with the North American experience of the week before, I arrived at STD- 2.5 hours. Checked-in online. Picked up boarding pass from shiny machine. Short queue at fast bag drop. Nobody took a break for croissants or anything else. Neatly presented passport and ticket at the desk, and......................."too early. You can only drop off your bags 2 hours before the flight!" Why? It seems this 21st century terminal cloggs up if it dares to swallow and masticate your bag before this time. Apparantly this was the cause of so many peoples luggage ending up in oblivion (OBL) when T5 opened to such an unfortunate fanfare last year. So off to the coffee shop for 30 minutes in order to spend the remnants of my childrens inhertitance on something called a
latte grande accompanied by a small square of carrot cake, wrapped up in 32 layers of that plastic stuff they use to mummify suitcases at the better third world airports! When I returned to the queue 30 minutes later, they had managed to recruit enough people to fill 3 auditions for the X-Factor. It took all of 30 minutes for them to be able to tell me with thinly disguised glee "your flight is cancelled, the next one is 19:10!" However they did check my bag in.
Is it always like this!
Apologies to QANTAS as no Koalas were involved or harmed in the production of any of these debacles!