I don't always agree with Rainboe but his posting is one of the wisest I've seen on PPrune for a while.
<<And while i am fully responsible for my actions, i was intoxicated enough to hardly be thinking more then a few seconds ahead.>>
Something slightly contradictory there methinks. How can you be "fully responsible" when you're out of your head? Would you sit behind a "fully responsible" pilot who had just been out on a bender? If you want job where you are responsible for the lives of others then understand that too much booze is a) unacceptable, b) irresponsible and c) just downright bl**dy stupid?
Good luck in putting your life back together... but for Heaven's sake take things seriously.