Recently retired as airline pilot, this is what I do myself...
Unfortunately, some passengers are quite
misinformed about emergencies.
I never meant to call passengers as being stupid.
I travel often as passenger, with my former airline or other air carriers.
While I do not know every type aircraft, but know "what to do or not do".
So how about passengers learning the following as "general rules" for all airplanes.
xxx
Generalities
Familiarize yourself with cabin configuration and location of nearest exits.
You might know say the 737, but some have 2 (L/R) overwing exits, some have 4 exits there.
There might be slight differences with other types regarding doors/exits etc.
Good reason for you to listen to the flight attendant's briefing.
Locate exits in terms of "row of seats" forward or aft, in case of heavy smoke.
Travel with sporty clothing (i.e. jogging suit and shoes).
If aisle is crowded, you fastest way to the exit might be on top of seats.
In cruise, do not become a "walker". Stay in your seat using a belt.
Any toilet door can be opened from outside. Just slide the OCCUPIED sign (there is a slot).
If all lights fail, cabin is dark, it is an electrical problem. Exit/aisle lights will come ON.
During takeoff/landings, open all window shades to be able to look outside.
Do not retrieve your personal belongings for cabin evacuation.
Introduce yourself if airline crewmember, doctor/nurse as applicable to the cabin crew.
Some flight attendants might have you sit near an exit, and help "in case".
xxx
Loss of pressurization
If oxygen masks fall, grab one, pull string down firmly then place over nose and mouth.
If traveling with kids, take care of yourself first, then the kid(s).
In case of rapid decompression, cabin might get fogged, it is NOT smoke or fire.
Pilot will then dive the airplane steep (emergency descent). You are NOT crashing.
xxx
Crash during takeoff or landing
Wait until airplane is fully stopped.
Look outside windows, for any fire and/or smoke.
Remember, tanks might be full of fuel for flight on takeoff, much less for landing.
Proceed to nearest exit (as per conditions).
If on the wing, often the flaps will have been lowered to assist you to slide OFF the wing.
If impact was violent, often fuselage "breaks" just AFT of wing. Tail section separates.
That fuselage "break" might be the best exit... Careful for sharp metal.
Do not open exit/door if a fire outside. Look through exit/door window first.
If using a "fire ax", don't try to break a window, they are stronger than fuselage metal.
If you don't believe me, see where "CUT HERE" frames painted out on fuselage. Not windows.
xxx
Ditching
Look outside windows for most favored exit.
Take seat bottom cushion for flotation, or life jacket if provided.
Do not inflate life jacket until OUT of the airplane.
With fuselage in one piece, airplane likely to be slightly nose up, favors FWD doors/overwing exits.
Rear cabin doors are likely to be below water level. Look through door window first.
Airplane likely to float for extended time, even with full tanks.
If fuselage "broke" just AFT of the wing, FWD doors likely below water level too.
Airplane unlikely to float for long if fuselage broke "AFT" of the wings
xxx
Cabin fires
Galley fire (most happen there) assist cabin staff, bring them extra fire extinguishers.
Best for galley fires - "Halon" or "CO2" extinguishers, label "B/C" class fire.
(Use same in your house kitchen or in your car, by the way).
If dumb enough to smoke in toilet and set rubbish on fire, get a water extinguisher "A" class.
(Be ready to get in a lot of legal troubles).
xxx
A final friendly word...
Flight attendants are there to save your a***, not to kiss it...
If you behave, you might get free complimentary peanuts.
xxx
Enjoy your flight.
Happy contrails