Cartexchange....
A girt bar is a silly little bar that is directly attached to the slide on a 737 door bustle. To arm the door, you would physically move the bar from some rusty clips and then stick the bar into locking clasps located on the floor. Of all the doors on any aircraft, these are the most dangerous because if ground staff open this door from the outside, then the slide will inflate, possibly killing them. Doors on other aircraft disarm automatically when opened from the outside, but not on a 737. That is why you see doors on a 737 being disarmed and 'cracked open' whenever it arrives at the aerobridge....this is to let ground staff know that it is safe to approach the door.
I have to say...more technology goes into a caveman flint axe than it does on a B737. Why on earth does Qantas still love buying these sardine cans?...no one likes flying on them....FA or pax....(can't vouch for T/C). It seems the only mammal that loves the 737 is the humble rat and the occasional cockroach.
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The perils of working on a B737:
1. Developing Spina-Bifida....unless you are 4 foot 2 inches tall, you will not have any pleasure arching your spine if you are R1P. I have lost count of how many times I have had to wedge myself into the corner of the aircraft at R1 because some CSM who has bad coffee breath stands about 2 inches away from your face when chatting to you.
2. 6 foot long oven racks....hello? Whatever happened to 'less is more'? Picture those sliding racks you see at mortuaries with dead bodies being slid out of fridges...then you have an idea of how oven racks work on a B737.
3. Have you ever tried eating a meal outside a public toilet? Next time you're feeling adventurous....decide to host your next family meal directly outside your family toilet (in order to simulate a 737 toilet, best to ask every member to do No. 2s and insist they don't flush)...then you will know what having a crew meal on a 737 feels like.
4. Ceiling-mounted life rafts.....hello? Has anyone been kind enough to tell the 737 manufacturer that it is fashionable now to combine life rafts and slides into one? Hello? Pico? Goodrich? Do you seriously think I am going to be able to fish a 500kg life raft from the middle of the ceiling and stylishly roll it down the aisle like they teach us in EPs?
5. Overhead locker space....the 'bain marie' of my Domestic existence! There is more space in the back of 2 Volvo station wagaons then there is on a B737. You will have more luck sticking your whole thumb into your ear than you will sticking a bum/fanny pack into a 737 overhead locker.
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Further to my previous post re: getting rid of Beehives, I have come up with more strategies:
1. Counter-act any moves by beehives to show you their photo album of pet cats by showing your own photo album. Instead of filling it with pics of your loved ones....fill it up with pics of the goitre you had removed last month; the satanic tatoo on your left buttock; or a picture of the lesbian albino goat you had a fling with from your last trip to Kazakhstan.
2. Somehow convince the beehives that it is now mandatory to do a C209 on all domestic sectors...including SYD-CBR. To avoid fictitous numbers being put on the form, barcode everything that is drinkable, and make the beehives scan all the barcodes into a handheld PDA that cross-references to the CSM's Blackberry.
3. Introduce a galley cookbook for all Domestic Economy sectors. In this cookbook, outline all the oven temperatures and cooking instructions necessary for heating up muffins and cookies. Make it as complicated as possible. Publish the book in all languages other than English...preferably in Latin.
4. Reissue the esky dag bag so that it can only be used with one type of granny shopping foldaway trolley. Sell this
'one type of granny shopping foldaway trolley' at Uniforms and charge $150 for the privelege. Advise that the charge cannot be amortised over several pay periods and must be taken out of DTA in the next pay.
5. Complicate the monthly bid books by throwing in miscellaneous and useless data like statistics, pie charts, DTA payment schedules, and Carmen diagnostic tables. Further still, complicate the 4 digit pattern numbers by adding 6 decimal places after them, so that pattern numbers now read: 3045.378497. Make the bid books available only in digital format, font size = 6. Make the digital format downloadable only to 3G mobile phones or Vodafone Blackberrys.
6. Remove all parking spaces for
invalid mobility scooters. If this is not logistically possible, then attach parking meters in the BNE/SYD/MEL bases. Have the beehive swipe their ASIC card in the meter and deduct $15 per hour from sign on to sign off. Deduct aforementioned fee from pay straight away.
7. Publish a faux article in The Source, detailing the dangers of wearing Lesbian Loafers at altitude and how this contributes to fatigue and rapid onset of DVT. Have podiatrists contribute to the article and also publish something in CCN under "I know its not procedure, but I like to wear Lesbian Loafers because I have kankles"
Oh I am so wicked!!!!!!!!!
God forbid that I come back in another life as a pair of Lesbian Loafers.
Merry Christmas to all...and yeah....like the moderator says....lets not take ourselves too seriously.