In answer to the first post:
From my experience, no-one cares about sexual orientation. I remember when the bar on "homosexuals" was lifted, and the outrage bus never left the depot - limited to a few splutterings into the Telegraph from the long-retired, I suspect. There may be a knee-jerk to the RAF and MoD going overboard on PC-ness, with people at Pride marches etc. There is no reason at all why gay personnel should not be able to take partners to the Mess or to be open about their private life. There is a caveat: making an extensive issue of any subject of deeply-held personal belief - from gay rights to politics and religion - will quickly turn anyone into the Mess bore. There are probably exceptions to this - flying, drinking and unit sports - but these can be boring as well.