I recently left after 37 years driving various airframes around the skies. My philosophy [and that of most of my friends and aquaintences] was simple - I don't care about your religion, colour, sexuality or politics - just don't shove it in my face and demand that I accept it. If you told me that you were gay I would probably avoid you like the plague - not because of the sexual aspect, but because you obviously have a big issue with it if you want to talk about it. And thereafter it would colour my perception of everything you say or do. That's just the way it is. Tough. And I venture to suggest that a sizeable chunk of those serving feel the same way. I am sure I served alongside some that were homosexual - they just didn't announce it.
Shoving it in your face would include introducing your partner to the Station Commander and his wife. Since he has attained that rank and position, he has been in for some years - long before the acceptance of homosexuality was foist upon the Forces - and he may well feel embarrased. Not the thing to do to your Commanding Officer. Like it or not, that's just the way it is.
The only sensible way to deal with this is to keep your mouth shut and get on with life. You will be accepted as the person you appear to be.
If you want to go on a gay crusade, don't join the Forces.