the commander I fly with (used to fly A320/330) expects me to be at Vref+10 over the numbers
Is that what the book says? I'm not being smart, serious question.
My understanding is that Vref is a 50ft speed, not a touchdown speed. I would get the QRH out and determine how much extra distance is used by carrying the extra speed. I reckon you'll be developing a mental picture of what the flare attitude looks like that isn't quite right if you are carrying extra speed and also one day you might operate into a strip where it really counts.
Just an opinion though. Good thread I reckon.