ImnotanERIC
One major flaw in your scenario - but you maybe will have the answer. Where in Newcastle would a hippo find a retailer with a 'Lads on tour 2008' T-shirt big enough?
Surely acquiring said T-shirt is a pre-requisite before the hippo felt he had the necessary kit to go on the lash on holiday?
I suppose he could try his local 'High and Mighty' store in the Eldon Garden Shopping Arcade or, he could try -
Large & Tall Menswear - Welcome
or here,
T-shirts, Custom T-shirts, T-shirt Printing, Cool T-Shirts UK, t shirts, tshirts, tee shirts Streetshirts
who do an emboidery/logo service as well, if he can get a gang (or pod/herd/dale or bloat to use a correct collective term) of his mates to share the cost (buy in bulk, as it were).
Though typing might be a problem for him.