I think you are very right on the points about ATC, especially in the UK.
ATCO's and MATS's along with pilot license holders discuss all the time in the UK about fiddly little bits of legislation that defy common sense just so that they can be doing it acording to the books. However in the MATS part 1 on the very first page of text it says that nothing in the book should discourage a controller from acting in a way that they believe is the safest way that is justifiable. Or some such nonsense. Yet they still get tied down to nitty gritty bits of stuff that helps no one.
Controllers often file on people to make a point, rather than actually asking them to call the unit and having a quick word with the pilot. This happens to trainees alot.
Now i work in air traffic and am also studying for my PPL/CPL(H), i meet students like myself even those studing for CPL who are frit to death of air traffic control, they don't challange any clearance or even request something they want to do. Ive sat in the cockpit with people who have recieved an instruction from air traffic of which they are confused by and they just guess what they meant instead of asking. Or they would like a direct approach to the apron rather than the manovering area for helicopters at the other side of the active, request it! like people say ATC is a service, they are human beings, they know their limitations even if they might 'forget' sometimes, you have to be 2 way with them.
I can easily see why a pilot would comply with ATC, i know i never would in that situation but i know people who are so intimidated by ATC they dare not question an instruction. Hence why most PPL students find the radio the hardest after the skill of learning to fly. I try and take every student and instructor i meet or speak to around the tower and radar to meet the controllers because thats what helps in situations like this, that you know there is a human at the end of the radio who's primary responsability is saftey. If you say its unsafe, they will go and rethink.
Instructors especially need to drill this into their students, once they have 'control' they are responsable for making sure they conduct that flight safely, they are the 'captain' 'commander' whatever you call it. They can't pass that responsability on because they are talking to air traffic control, equally they should COMMUNICATE with air traffic control to maintain flight saftey. If theres a huge CB you've been asked to turn into, report its position and request a turn in the opposite direction etc... This helps everyone and you got out of flying into it!
Now for a moment example!
A student helicopter pilot on his first solo at EGBE was in the helicopter circuit. Due to IFR traffic he was asked to 'hold midpoint downwind' being an inexperienced pilot he wasn't sure whether he could orbit, instead of asking he took the literal meaning so as not to piss the ATC off and he litrally held position in the hover at 700ft, at which point he fell into vortex ring and by some fluke managed to save it by 200ft. If he had communicated properly and ATC had realised what was happening they could have prevented this.