And talk to the cabin crew
For nervous flyers out there, I fly domestic flights in Italy, where daily I see people praying and then the customary applause after successfully touching down still alive. I therefore feel quite experienced in dealing with nervous passengers. Some prefer to keep quiet and sweat privately, and others ask lots of questions. I've seen people crying out of fear, and even the odd full-blown panic attack. (I do feel so sorry for the passengers who just before take-off have to offload themselves because they can't go through with it out of fear, but it is a serious delay for all the other passengers).
I think you'll feel better if you take a moment once you've found your seat and sat down to mention to a passing crew member that you're a nervous flyer and ask a question like, "has any turbulence been forecast?" You'll be amazed how calming a gentle touch on the shoulder and smile from a cabin crew can be! (Yes, it's all part of the service).
Then, try and remember that planes have no problem flying through turbulence and that provided you're wearing your seatbelt, the worst that can happen is you spill your coffee or red wine on your white shirt. Yes, it can be unsettling and can make some people feel nauseous, but compare it to driving over cobblestones or speed humps - nothing to worry about.
The actual flight itself is safe. Yes, sometimes unfortunately accidents happen on take off or landing, but once you've successfully taken off and the captain has turned off the seatbelt signs, you've got nothing at all to worry about. You can really relax until it's time to land. Really. I've even been hit by lightning and the only concern I've had is whether I've got my bathers for the unscheduled night-stop.
So, that's the flight covered. For the take off, tell yourself that the drive to the airport was much more dangerous (which it was) and you managed that without any problems, so you should be able to get through this. Same for the landing, except divert your attention by remembering that your biggest fear should be not being reunited with your bags, or the taxi driver ripping you off.
Some say you can study the safety card, count the rows to the exits, etc, which as a safety professional, yes, I do encourage you to do, but in practice, if you're a nervous flyer, by dwelling on something that is so unlikely, you could probably make yourself even more nervous. And therefore, you might be better off just focussing on your travel destination and all the lovely things you're going to do when you arrive.
I think nervous passengers feel that way because it is a very unfamiliar environment and they do not feel in control of the situation. I like to therefore suggest a two-pronged approach.
1 - Trust. Trust the pilots who are extremely well trained and professional and between them will have years of experience. Trust the maintenance of the aircraft which has been designed and maintained by professionals and finally confirmed by a pilot before EVERY flight.
2 - It's all relative. Compare it to an everyday situation like being in a car. You're not in direct control of what the other cars are doing, yet you manage to face this real danger every day. If you're middle aged, you probably got your licence about 20+ years ago, and have never had any driver training since. Pilots and crew have constant training and regularly prepare for all kinds of unforeseen situations in simulators and other types of training. We also check everything from A to Z. How often do you check your tyre pressure or amount of oil/coolant/brake fluid before setting out each day? Re-read number 1. You'll be fine.