In a surprise move brave fighters of BRAIN released Mike A$$lick and Femi 'Kill-Em' Coolings during the weekend. A press release from their joint spokepersons, Comrades Blessing Green and Jomo Nono stated:
BRAIN has decided that we no longer have need of Imlach or Collins, they were very useless, very bad men. After long discussions with Bristow we were adviced by the tall speechless Scotch accountant that Bristow would not pay one penny for either men. Talks with our fellow fighters for the rights of the indigenous people revealed that of all the hostages they had held, the Filipinos were the poorest, but the most cheerful. Our own experience has been that of our forefathers when confronted by their Scotch colonial masters - that the Scotch are the richest and the most miserable. As for Collins - there is only one place for a 'Tom' like him who betrays his own people and steals from them - and that is in the Senate. The final straw was when Imlach demanded a three course meal be brought to him in accordance with a book no man has ever seen - Bristow admin manual. He said that because club sandwich was not available and meat pie is finished, despite the fact of the BRAIN kitchen in our secret hideout behind Green Crocodile was closed we must supply full 3 courses. My brothers and sisters, you are welcome to these men. This battle was lost, but the war goes on. Long live BRAIN, long live the brave Nigerian people, long live the crack fighters of NUATZI