Aamyee
Aamyee,
I know it is easily said, but please hang in there. Believe me, it isnt the end of the world and I believe you are just simply being postponed.
I am saying this only because I have been in your shoes. I didnt manage to go thru on my first attempt. In fact, that was actually the very first time that I ever failed. And now, reading your story, oh boy, it brought back the memory: God knows how devastated I was back then. I remember how I couldnt stop wondering and these mind-games of 'what ifs' and 'should/shouldnt' kept on circling in my head, every single day without a fail within the one year gap.
Dont give up. Try again next year, and lets see if the luck is on your side this time. I had to do it only two times, which I thought was hard enough. But I have a batch mate of mine who took her seven (!!!) Open Days to finally let her fly happily.
Good luck!
Pramugara