Melchett & Darling will get the absolute minimum from me when I die
Oi leave me out of it! I earn whatever I get, rather than just pinching it from the rest of the country whenever I have an election I need to win or a Russian oligarch I need to pay off.
Anyway, back to the original point about the pensions calculator, I too have had problems getting a straight answer from the calculator and Glasgow; my request for a pension forecast and my number crunching on the calculator give 2 different figures, with a difference of 1.5K per annum at current rates. So it's hardly surprising that people come on here and ask for advice.
With regard to the current local difficulties - remember that you haven't lost any money until you actually cash things in. Not that that is much help if you're close to retirement and don't have the luxury of being able to re-invest.
However, if you're after a quick buck so to speak, the only one way I can think of at the moment which will give you a better rate than the stock market etc is currency trading. When I left theatre last month, the Govt Accounting Rate was $2.04 / £1; and given the way sterling is going at the moment in comparison to the dollar (I think the Post Office will give you $1.85ish / £1) you could make a few hundred on it if you are able to cash a cheque to the value of your monthly salary. As I said, the only flaw is that you have to be in theatre or have access to dollars at the Govt rate.