In another life I once worked with the Army at 9 Signals Regt in Cyprus and the then Colonel told me this story.
Background first - Manning the gate, but calling themselves Regimental Police, were the Royal Pioneer Corps. These peope were well meaning but mostly operating with a single figure IQ. In fact, before I arrived at the unit they had found two Pioneers who couldn't read or write. They'd blagged their way into the army because they could sign their name.
Obviously, the caring Army wanted to do the best for these boys so they charged them both for not reading orders!
Back to story: The leader of these happy band of imbeciles was one Cpl Clapton. Being simple folk they knew that there was a benevolent God and he took the form of the RSM.
Cpl Clapton called in one of his merry men and said "Go out on to the gate, and when the C.O. comes in, give him my compliments and tell him the RSM wants to see him."
"Right Cpl" Says our man who duly trots out to the gate and starts stopping every single car coming onto camp.
He politely asks each vehicle occupant "Are you the C.O?"
"No" Says the man in RAF uniform.
"Right, on you go then"
After around half an hour of this a Black Vauxhall Cavalier approaches the gate. Along it's side is a Royal Corps of Signals stripe. On the Bonnet sits a Colonels Pennant. Matey stops the car and taps on the window which lowers. "Are you the C.O?" he asks.
"No mate I'm the driver, the C.O.'s in the back".
sidestepping smartly he taps on the rear window which lowers.
"are you the C.O?" he asks.
"Yes, what's the matter" says the Colonel.
"I'd Łuck off if I was you, the RSM's after ya"