Just before the NCO aircrew "after lunch" parade at Finningly one of the guys is told that the back of his No 2 jacket is covered in tomato ketchup (a jolly prank from the junior ranks with who(m)? we shared a mess).
Anyway, said chap has no time to clear it off and decides to brave it out at the back of the parade, hoping the inspecting officer will bore of the task before getting to him (as often happened).
Unfortunately the Officer was in a particularly meticulous mood today and the whole parade held its breath as he went behind mateyboy.
"OH MY GOD T*******N, WHAT THE F*** IS THIS ON YOUR BACK!!!!!????"
"Errrr....tomato ketchup sir".
"I KNOW WHAT IT F***ING WELL IS, WHAT THE F*** IS IT DOING THERE!?"
"Well sir, errrm, we'd run out of salad cream".
Inspecting officer departs very quickly, no more is said.