But before I did, I would be climbing into the roof space with the crash axe and trying to pull those bloody control cables with my asbestos gloved hands until I got the right one!
If you're talking about a hydraulic loss, what those "bloody control cables" would be doing is...nothing. They only port hydraulic fluid to actuators...and without any fluid, you'd be doing nothing more than what you're doing with the control column...nothing.