Back in the 80s in the BA German operation in and out of Berlin, on shutdown at Tegel, one of the German cabin attendants was opening the door with a little bit of pressure remaining. It opened out quite strongly. Absolutely furious with the pilots for not losing internal pressure and nearly causing her (she thought) to go flying out with it, she stomped up to the flight deck, burst into the door and announced to the startled pilots 'CAPTAIN! I have just been sucked off!'
I don't recall there was any answer to that.
Another German girl appeared with a tray with the Captain's meal. The tray had been sitting on the galley top in spilt water. She asked 'Captain! I am very wet underneath. Would you like to feel?'
But I don't think that will survive the censor.
What were we talking about anyway?
Me quoting it makes it doubley hard to censor it.
....move along, nothing to see here.