Mr Smoggyboxes, you are most welcome. As you must be aware we revere aged people in Nigeria and you would be in recepit of excellent rumen runem salary of many thousands of dollars each bearing likeness of dead Presidents of USA in a tasteful green colour. Our excellent local allowance paid to all excellent expartriate staffs such as Mr Chuks is paid in cash, free of taxes and enough for many delicious dishes of amala with good soup and both Star or imported beer. There is even plenty for employment of personal secretary with pointy protuberances and G strings to attend to your every whin. When away on courses to maintain your standards of excellence you will, of course stay in toppest international hotel with room with both bed and bath and many allowances of some hundreds of dollars so you may maintain that plumpy deportment expected of our eminent company ambassadors.
Our staff house in Lagos is well known for its luxurious apartments each with all mod coons and a bar where no one can ever insult or ignore a person - that is not the way in the Nigerian centre of excellence. We Nigerians are well known for our friendlyness and horspiteality. Even if you are in Port Harcourt, you will stay in a luxuriously appointed suit in a fine hotel such as the Starred King and should you wish to visit any of the famous night spots you will be most welcome to do so. As a local company we have no need of the self serving uterances of expartriate security advices whose only knowledge is of Bargedad and will give you the information you need to make your own choice. You will at all times be treated as an adult, nit a child and your life at the centre of excellence will at all times be a delight. Your are welcome.