hostiegirl,
Snap out of it
I know it's probably of little comfort to you but there are a bunch of us out here who are rooting for you XL,ent folks.
Sit down and work out a plan as soon as you can (finances, job hunting etc), get the CV updated and send, send, send. Things will be tough but you need to 'get back on the horse' and try and keep ahead of the tide!
Chin up
you can do it.
Wishing you the very best.