SFH
I admire your honesty about your concerns.
Flying both mil and civil involves getting on with people (sometimes who you would not rather be with) in a variety of circumstances.
There are similarities and differences in the 'way of life' of both careers.
In the military on ops (and the frequency of ops depends on the aircraft type) you are working hard as a team under trying circumstances and the buzz is immence. At home base the work load is variable but no matter what you do and where you go you are attached by an invisible bungey cord to base. How much you throw yourself in to sqn life and mess life can be up to you. However I never saw any point in being in the RAF without a social involvement (as it paid dividends when deployed).
In my airline I go away more often than I did in the military, but for shorter periods and come home when I should. We always go out, be it just for a quiet drink or more. Sometimes its 2 people, sometimes its 15 and I have had some cracking times. The flying is mostly routine and relaxed but you have to be able to get on with people. Most of the time I am flying with people I have never met before. I can leave the job behind when I leave Heathrow and have time to do what I want in my spare time. (although I prefer aerobatics to fishing).
Both jobs are about how you get on with people. You certainly have to be motivated to end up on the sqn or on line. However the military is a way of life shared with people who mostly have the same values and is a lot more fun.