I think it's only right to speak out at this point,
far too often rumour and innuendo have been allowed to confuse the picture, until fiction is accepted as fact, and history records what some might have wanted, rather than what actually happened.
So let it be said, here and now, without equivocation, that Sam used plums, not ping pong balls, whilst entertaining gentlemen of leisure during their off duty moments, I witnessed this a number of times. (It is to this that I ascribe a certain degree of infirmity in my dotage, although memories of these occasions does occasionally have a surprisingly restorative effect).
To the chap who married the ping pong ball my commiserations sir, you married an impostor.