Rainboe, you seem to be under the mistaken impression that the aircraft is almost unflyable, when that is most definitely not the case. In the past, with other airlines, conversion training for all pilots included training in manual reversion flying. To the best of my recollection, none of them ever made anything other than a very survivable landing. The touchdown is not any harder than a normal landing, and I find it hard to understand why you should think otherwise.
The aircraft is flyable using a combination of the flight controls, standby rudder, elevator trim and thrust, all of which function adequately.
Extra time and planning for early gear extension are required but other than a longish runway, a normal ILS or visual approach will suffice.
Do not try to make it into an almost unservivable drama when it is evidently not the case.