I wonder how many of us are fed up with being kept in the dark or just plain lied to by rubbish so-called management who couldn't manage to leave their comfortable offices and get out into those nasty, sweaty, dangerous swamps more than once a year. How many of us are sick at the constant stream of meaningless new initiatives which seem designed to make work for a bunch of idle, useless HR or QA leeches and just waste our time
Talking of useless, self-important, bloated leeches has anybody in Bristow read the so-called Newsletter from Randy Organ
. half a page taken up with big writing telling us the company name change just in case we can't read small writing
More than half a page with a photograph of the leering lump, of an ex-rugby plump forward, looking like Toad of Toad Hall in a shirt and explaining how an undistinguished 32 year career as an RAF storeman made him superbly qualified to be the HR damager of BIAGL
As for the garbage about how the friendly HR team will answer your e-mails very rapidly, I suppose 6 - 8 months is what passes for rapid in the storeman's world
. He's probably too busy writing his newsletter which looks as if it was produced by a schoolboy as a 3rd grade computer publishing project. Still, I'm sure that now he's recruited an assistant to help him do his work (for that read someone to do all the graft while he writes more issues of the Newsletter and visits the many delightful harbour-side bars almost visible in the charming photo of Glategny Esplanade for a long lunch. I'm sure those dregs sitting in Darrells or Escravos are delighted to know that the island enjoys a vibrant society with top class restaurants and entertainment, just like Eket
. Still, you can sympathise with the poor lamb when you realise that life on this charming island can also get pretty rough when you hear that it only needs a strong wind or a foggy day and there are no newspapers or letters and shows how cut off we really are. Rough seas in the winter frequently means little or no fresh food from the mainland for days. It makes you realise how lucky you are to be living in the 5 star luxury of a hotel like Darrells with daily mail deliveries, a copy of The Punch outside your luxury suite every morning and delicious fresh international candle-lit dinners in the superb restaurant compare with poor Randy's sad life on this small island. The similarities continue when you realise that Victor Hugo wrote much of his celebrated ‘Les Miserables’ whilst living in Guernsey (admittedly in exile). However, these days the majority of French visitors we get tend to be Yachtsmen. After all, Darrellsdregs wrote much of his celebrated 'The Glums' whilst living in Eket (admittedly in exile) and the majority of the visitors we get tend to be terrorists or night fighters
. But, amazingly the similarity with Guernsey continues because most of the terrorist visitors tend to be yachtsmen, with boats ready and waiting to take their hostages off to enjoy the hospitality of the quaint villages which they inhabit in the many creeks of this beautiful region.
Never mind, once Agbami is awarded and the delayed pay review is announced, there will be queues of pilots and engineers waiting to come to our charming little operations, so conveniently located to the swamps and other African tourist delights
What delights await those who arrive. Excellent Nigerian medical facilities will soon soothe those aching backs brought on by up to 9 hours a day in the anatomically designed Bell 412 or Bell 407 seats which we've been slumped in for up to 9 hours a day. Once Agbami has been announced, storemen (just like what Randy used to be) will have more than enough stores to keep the old, poorly equipped, bone-shakers like the 76A++, 412 and 332s flying without pilots and engineers being threatened if they dare to enter snags in technical logs or refuse to fly them just because they're not really serviceable. No, of course that can't really happen can it? After all, we're now all target Zero and COBI compliant
Can I have the address of Heli Malongo as well please - I'd like to go somewhere a bit less like Guernsey and not have to be forced to read Randy's Ramblings. Oh wait a minute, I almost forgot, I already decided to go - I'm out of here soon
. No more candle-lit dinners at Darrells, no more scenic drives to work taking in the breathtaking beauty and wildlife of the swamps, no more Gulder
, no more arguments about CLA. It sounds so good, maybe I should just hang on until Deboys announce the new pay review and all the benefits of Agbami flood in
