It's a fact, you've not a chance of sympathy on this site. God, we are a bunch of p1ss takers! Thank God, service humour is still alive and well!
As an aside, a mate of mine, years ago, was diagnosed with a heart murmur, understandably he was worried to death, but what cheered him up immensely were the hangar guys who passed him daily mumbling 'murmur, murmur' under their breath.
He survived and is still fit and well. He still has a F/S sense of humour too.