I've been here before. When I was learning to glide as a prospective C.I. with the Space Cadets at Manston I had a problem with what we called 'medium' cable breaks, or the procedure for recovery from a cable break at medium level, 200-400 feet. The size and shape of the field meant that an S-turn was necessary, and I just couldn't hack it. I was at it for ages. The days in between each weekend were full of self-doubt and angst. The Boss was my instructor and the less I could do it, the more exasperated he became. The more exasperated he became the worse I became, and so on. The classic vicious circle. Well, I cracked it eventually - I forget how, but it got to the stage where I could do it in my sleep.
Fast forward to now and the same situation is developing, but on a larger scale.
The day started well. I've just got my little Spit through its MOT and we had a bracing run through the countryside down to Headcorn with the breeze in my face (and down my collar!). I was there bright and early to check out 'LY and with my planning all ready from work I'd done over breakfast. We briefed for the flight, strapped in and started up. That's when things started ever so slowly to slide.
I overlooked priming before start-up. I've never done that before! She still started. Never mind. Oops! that was close - nearly clipped a holding point sign with my wing tip. Had two goes at lining up properly before take off (I mean - how many years have I been flying?
) Climbed out to Staplehurst which we attained at 1800 feet - my planned cruising height - but I elected to do a 270 to get myself properly sorted over the town. Good decision, except I started to turn onto course for Lydd before I was over the town. Why'd I do that?
Heading off To Lydd my track-keeping wasn't great. Noticed the track error but Bruce had to work out the correction for me. There was scattered low cloud over Lydd and when we got onto downwind we were quite a long way out and about 700 feet. I defaulted to a long, low flat approach. Wrong! I should have maintained my level until I 'bumped into' the normal approach profile, silly!
Now to deal with the all the R/T for a major international airport
. Well, it's different to Headcorn, the latter being a radio service only. "Read back anything with numbers in it", insisted Bruce. He was to insist this several times, and with more exasperation, during the next half-hour.
We went to the flying club, I paid the landing fee; I thought, 'Well, there's a chance to redeem myself on the return trip'.
As we taxied out again, I had difficulty hearing Bruce over the R/T chatter. This was getting a major problem. At one point I misheard the controller addressing "Lima Yankee". I had started a response when I got a slap on the wrist - literally - that pushed my finger off the button. I then got a talking-to from Bruce about I can't remember what. I only remember that the controller had in fact been talking to "Mike Yankee".
The journey back - well, because we had left the south coast to fly north to Headcorn, I expected to see the airfield in front with 11-29 orientated across my field of view. Imagine my astonishment when Bruce patiently pointed out the airfield to me, the runway a few miles off our starboard wing tip.
The crosswind approach I could somehow still do but the cocked-up touchdown brought an end to the comedy of errors. A pretty miserable sortie.
I've been getting by on not too much sleep of late. I'm working 6-7 days a week and things are pretty distracting at home. Settled, and basically happy, but busy and distracting. Plus, when my confidence starts to go, it
goes. I get a confidence vacuum. When we debriefed in Bruce's office I was aware of an ache in my neck which felt like tension. It took two days (until now) to get rid of it.
Thanks for reading this cathartic account. I've got to keep at it until I crack it but I have to work on keeping my confidence up. I will face an examiner before too long..........