Ah-ah!
Dat be "cow-meat". Not steak! A real work-out for the jaw muscles.
Then there is the famous Sokoto chicken. Not to say they are tough, just that I saw one get run over by a lorry and then get up and walk away. Allegedly.
We had this dingy cave of an airport cafe at the old Aero Contractors terminal, back when a naira bought something. There was "Hamburger with Egg" on the menu, when the waiter came over to tell me that today it was "Hamburger with Egg - no Egg".
I have this terrible need to fight boredom that is always getting me into trouble. I asked, "So how much is an egg worth? Can I get a discount here?" (We are arguing here over about 10 cents, of course.)
"It is 'Hamburger with Egg- no Egg'"!
"Yes, I hear you but I see here on the menu that an egg sells for 80 kobo. You are shorting me one egg so that I would expect a discount of 80 kobo, just going by the menu."
"It is 'Hamburger with Egg - no Egg'"!
"Well, perhaps a chit, then, that I could exchange for an egg at a later date?"
Same answer...
"I am not in a hurry. Could you send the 'boy' to the market to purchase an egg? They are very rich in Vitamin A, I am told."
Almost the same answer: same words, double volume. Time to stop yanking this guy's crank before he gets that surly-looking crowd of yoofs to pitch me out on my pointy Oyingbo head, I guess.
"I see. Well, your cogent arguments have won the day. Please bring me one 'Hamburger with Egg - no Egg' and a nice warm Fanta Orange... no, wait, I think I shall have the Schweppes Mineral Water instead. Thank you so much."