my best one was coming back from egypt.
Handling agent in egypt as purser if we wanted to fly a family back that were disruptive in terminal, all crew had a quick chat and said yes we will.
turned out family was (I assume) 2 dads and children. The kids were lovely, no trouble, dads on other hand were drunk and a pain in the a**e.
halfway through flight one of the dads decides to have a cigarette in toilet and the other one was sleeping. Obviously the captain was informed but rather than get the police he wanted us to keep him back so he could talk to him once landed in gatwick.
So we get the passengers off including the rest of the guys family, Meanwhile while bus is waiting, the other dad decides to get off the bus and light up a cigarette next to our aircraft, so i ran downstairs like a mad woman shouting you can't smoke here to which he replied '' well I can't see any no smoking signs'' to which i pointed to the engine and said '' how big a bloody sign do you want''
and walked off whilst the other people on the bus clapped
