No-one cares about dates and labaan Colonostomymann, that's the whole point. The Catamite is a mental paradox; he is petty, on the other hand he is neurotic, the next day megalomaniac. An efficient office is one where staff scatter like mice when the cat enters. A team is a group of morons that all scream "yes sir" together.
More restrictions for the list:
1. Pilots are not to consume meals in the flight deck during passenger boarding. Why, because the catamite insists that it is dangerous. Turnaround is often the only time to eat something on an A320 duty.
2. Refer to the dish dash as a dress. A captain was sacked for this, even though he was misquoted and misunderstood by the qatari FO that reported him.
3. Do not be recognized by the catamite wearing shorts in the airport terminal on your day off. This is worth a warning letter.
4. Do not grow a patch of bum fluff below your bottom lip where the girls like it. Not allowed.
5. The Captain has ultimate authority for the safety of the flight right? If because of a serious CRM or Technical reason a captain relieves an incompetent CM/CSD of her duties the captain will be suspended without interview. This has happened twice. On both occasions the pilots suspended, were eventually found without fault and reinstated.
6. Do not be caught masticating in daylight outside the flightdeck or your villa during ramadan.
7. Don't ever offer to give a flight attendant a lift home, even if she is your wife's best friend.
8. Don't expect to get on a Goat flight even if you do have a ticket and they have seats. After Hyderabad overnight: economy fully booked, my wife is denied the economy cabin jump seat by check-in staff, my wife was refused business class even though she had a business ticket and was dressed
appropriately. Why??? No good reason, the staff at Hyderabad are assholes. Remember too that Hyderabad is the Catamite's home town.
9. If you are sick prior to days off, do not expect to keep the days off. Rostering can change your sick days to OFF and make your upcoming OFF days STBY. But on the flip side, if you scream "I'm going to have your head on a stick" to rostering staff you will probably get a free coffee and Oreo with the Chief Pilot. But again, on a day OFF.
10. Do not ask for a copy of your SIM Check Report. They know you want it for your resume. I have a nasty letter from The Goat explaining why Check Reports are their property. I put that in my resume instead.
11. Forget ever seeing your personal file.
12. Do not sit down in public with your hat off. Unless you are drinking a coffee. I believe this rule also applies to tea and hot chocolate, but not sure. Quite sure that it does include soft drinks. Best to either not sit down or wear hat everywhere including bed.
13. Now you are not allowed to punch your Chief Pilot. But on the other hand you can punch a subordinate at The Goat if you feel he/she needs it (Sharia Law). A Qatari captain thumped a dispatcher, his punishment just a brief demotion.
What a lovely place to work......
Last edited by Black Stain; 11th Jul 2008 at 06:09.
Reason: spelling