In past times, I used to trust what the experienced pilots told me about weight and balance, and particularly so, if it was their plane I was flying! I've learned my lesson, though it took a few! One C182 owner told me: "take it real careful, she's heavy today" after he had loaded it. I flew it out of a 1600 foot gravel runway. When I unloaded it, the weight had been 800 pounds overgross! I wish I could say that was the last time I did that... I stopped flying jumpers in a C185, because the jump club insisted on "one more jumper", which was more than one more jumper over gross. During a genuine flight test to investigate the weight and balance of another 185, I was told after the flight that an error had been made, and I had been 4" behind the aft limit, at gross weight. No wonder it was so hard to recover from the spins I was required to do!
So then I started to learn! For another flight test in a 185 float plane, I had it loaded with bagged gravel, all tied down in the back, to ballast me up to gross at the aft limit (spun much better within limits!). I land, and at the dock, who meets me? The authorities! Ramp check! Ha, I had the W&B form, and it was perfect!
I have approved special purpose overweight operations, but you sure have to be careful. That means the testing has been done, and the operating limitations spelled out and followed. If you have to aboart a takeoff, do the brakes have enough capacity to stop you? If you have to land right back, can the gear take to added load? Can the twin till make it out on one engine? What do you have to do if you hit a gust? Etc. There are many things to think about...
We learn that accidents rarely happen from just one cause, its the combination that gets you. W&B is a big one in the combination. It may not get you all on its own right away, but add in the engine failure, flight control failure, icing, gusty cross wind, severe turbulance, and you've really set yourself up for trouble. Then, if you're lucky, you're alive enough to try to explain why you tried that in the first place! Sometimes overgross has to happen (ferry fuel, for example). Such operations can be specifically tested and approved, there will be other limitations to keep things safe.
Otherwise, if you're going to fly overweight, you're taking about the same chances as exceeding Vne, or the manuevering limits. Sounds like you're not using the right plane of the job in the first place - there's always a bigger one somewhere!
We've all done stupid things, let's help each other learn and don't do it anymore...