Spin can I ask what was soul destroying?
Was it the overnight stops or company politics etc? Sounds like the actual flying and commaraderie (sp?) with your fellow pilots was good but everything else fell some what short of what you were looking for?
I guess its the same old rostering gripe, but a day off for me was a recovery day. The number of times I highlighted issues that were agreed by senior managers. The continual change from night to day flying became fatiguing and stressful. Management always said that any pilot who felt unfit due fatigue should report unfit and not report for duty. I did this, and it got me an interview. They wanted to know what it was that was making me unfit. It was the rostering I told them. They said it was legal and that was that. I went for a sim check immediately after one of the more punishing tours of duty. I passed it ok, but my performance fell way below my own standard. The training manager agreed. I showed him my roster (which was not that different from other pilots). He went ballistic, did he get anything changed, errr, no. I was working for the company, the taxman, and the mortgage company. I was working for everybody, bar myself. I had a house to be proud of, but one I could not enjoy, because I was permanently knackered on the occasions when I was at home.
Most (all) companies have a political bent to them, and that never troubled me too much. The final straw for me, was when I negotiated my own contract and the company ignored it! It was not until I walked away from my aircraft for the last time did anyone ever figure out, that a contract was a binding agreement between two parties, and for my part, I am a man of my word.
The guys I worked with are some of the best you could ever wish to meet, and the pride I felt, having people of that calibre working for me as a commander, was immense. A real privilege. If anyone ever got into a fix, or had a problem, I wanted them to think through their own solution, and if it seemed reasonable, put it into action. Let the success be theirs. They enjoyed it and they started thinking about the work they were doing. Sometimes they would come up with ideas, where I would have say, hmm ok, but today we'll have to do it my way and explain (time permitting) why. Camaraderie was strong, for me anyway. I don't recall ever having a serious cross word, and I always got 5 star performance from them, often confirmed by complimentary letters from passengers.
Before I packed in, I turned down four promotions. I had no issues with the extra responsibilities, but I had no confidence in senior managers to stick to their end of the bargain. This is something that is a must for me, particularly when I would have been more deeply involved with personnel matters. I didn't want to be branded a liar like so many of the senior people were.
I now run a small farm in the highlands. The winters are tough, but everything is run to my agenda based upon my own principles and standards. It isn't easy, its ruddy hard. I raided the piggy bank, emptied the ISA's and sold my house, and poured every penny into the farm. It's going well, very satisfying. I now have an approved egg production site, and a licensed egg packing station, all built from scratch, with just the few pennies that I had left in my pocket.
Am I now happy, you bet.
PS Mrs. Spinnaker has got her husband back
