Scribbly,
'P' is program mode, it's like on your washing machine. If you have lots of red pictures to shoot (say you are in Cyprus, on top of a very tall stepladder, and the Red Arrows go past) then you set your camera to 'P' for program mode. Then the colour won't run into your other pictures.
'A' is for automatic - this is for taking pictures when you can;t really be bothered to look into the viewfinder and do all that twidlly click select stuff - set the camera to 'A' and press the shutter button, the camera will take 3 or 4 shots, automatically selecting the nicest things to take pictures of. (Be careful, this can backfire on detachment if you just 'happen' to pass by a topless beach and don't print the photos until you get home to the other half).
There's also 'S' for 's*d it, missed the b&gger' - this is for taking tail on shots of aircraft.
'M' is manual - you should only use this after reading your camera manual. (It's a sort of reminder setting).
There's also a picture of a mountain on many modern digital SLRs, this mode is only of use if you go to Austria. (Most users therefore ignore it).
The little flower is 'Macro' mode, this was the hero in Gladiator, and is only used when taking close up shots of Australians.
If your camera came as a 2 zoom lens kit, you can avoid buying expensive extra lenses by sellotaping one zoom onto the front of the other - do it either way round, I can positively assure you that your resultant pictures will look just as good whichever lens you stick onto the other.
Next week's masterclass - 'Creative use of the ASA (Amateur Swimwear Association) settings.
Dave
Hope this cleared a few dubious points up for you.