Fac6,
We've all had episodes where the other side have been let down by a few of their 'bad apples.' We all need to generate our own little libraries of sharp 'one-liners' to respond to our subordinate crew members who fail to act in the spirit of CRM. I would not hesitate in putting an ISM in her place if the situation warranted. It's all about Command!
The point I was trying to make is that we should not generalize, particularly when some of our colleagues fail to act like gentlemen. I know that may be difficult for some but I still believe that most of us were brought up properly and that we shouldn't let our standards slip.
If you are making an effort... good on you. Keep plugging away. Only if we demonstrate that new generation of Captain really is different and really is making an effort, then things will slowly change. It won't happen overnight (or even on an overnight - giPilot) but its a start.
I reiterate...
We are the leaders, we are the commanders, we set the example.