Cathay seems to actively discourage commuting. A large portion of their hiring process hinges on their belief that the applicant can relocate to Hong Kong as smoothly as possible. The unofficial policy seems to be "happy wife, happy life", if the FH guys are to be believed. Their management also seems to act in a unilateral, draconian manner whenever someone doesn't toe the company line. Suffice it to say that if you have some driving need to go SO, you'll be moving to Hong Kong. As a single man, if need be.
With jet time on the resume, you're well on the way to meeting the DEFO requirements. Which regional are you working for? If you're one of the hundreds of pilots who are looking at imminent furloughs, then by all means pursue the SO job while doing everything imaginable to convince the wife to relocate. If you've got a more secure position, then hang out until you can go DEFO and be based in the States.