Dear Been Hacked ... maybe I can help.
Firstly the Flying Without Fear website and the products therein were a godsend for me. That's a starting point. I'd advice the DVD, book and CD's.
Last year I got a job that meant I'd have to commute, by air, twice weekly. The thought of which had me nauseated beyoned belief. Thankfully my first flight was with a colleague and it was a perfect flight. My first thought on touchdown was however that I'd never be able to do that again, and I wondered how I'd even get home. First thing I did was get on the web, found that website, read it and then bought the stuff.
Which brings me to where I am today. I now fly alone at least twice a week. I've been on a plane that had to be rebooted, one that sat on the tarmas for an hour whilst "a small but vital part" was replaced (Captains words), through some very bumpy turbulence...but mostly I've been on peaceful, non-eventful flights.
Sensations are very well explained in the book (I still read it when I'm feeling jittery) and as for smells and feelings, the answers lay in your own hands.
the most important thing I always remember is that there is no more on earth the captain would get skyward if he for any reason wasn't happy with the aircraft. It's not like running your car to the nearest garage knowing it may or may not make it when it has a problem. The other thing I always remember is that most of the 'events' we dislike in an aircraft (i.e. turbulence etc.) are just a fraction of what it's been tested through. What may seem like a very scary bumpy and pitching journey is no doubt a tiny percentage of what the plane can really withstand.
I'm not cured, I don't run up the plane two at a time but I make it easier for myself. I've learnt that airports can often be the worst part of the experience at yet thay are nothing to do with the journey. I pre-book my seats (the few extra quid is worth it), if I can I book in on line and print my own baording pass as I only take hand luggage (and I fit a weeks wardrobe onto mine!) and I get to the airport timely enough that I'm not rushed but I'm not sat around thinking.
I wish you well and do please drop me a PM if you want any more info or just want to ask questions.