ETR, that post was fantastic.....
Not much sympathy from the Noodle either Luke. May I suggest
1. Permanant Headphones to eliminate all modern living noises, make sure fashionable and nice colour so as not to look like a dork.
2. Luke could you provide some medical advice to help with operation to modify sheep larynx, maybe cows butt modifications could be done here as well.
3. Why stop at humanely killing the birds and animals, lets do the same to the kids.
4. The Flintstones got it right with their feet powered car, have to wear silencer footwear though!
Long live the Urban Warrior!
PS, On a more serious note, you buy a place near an airport. What really did you expect?
Noodle