Should you research for a foreign carrier with US base turn impossible, look at the Asian carriers. If I remember well, some of these airlines have crews with a base in YVR Vancouver, BC - Canada - I cannot recall which ones, could be EVA, Asiana, KAL, Cathay, etc...
xxx
Commuting from YVR is as easy as to commute from Seattle to other points in the USA. It could be an alternative solution for you. As your wife will have a employment visa for the US, she can apply on your behalf for you to receive a visa permitting you to reside, and be present in the US (although not permitting you to work). In your case, I would call on a US Immigration law firm to find a solution, but wait until she is established herself. In any case, apply for a standard US tourist visa (besides your crew visa should you get one with the Asian carrier mention above).
xxx
Good luck to you -
Happy contrails