Terrific thread, recently discovered, provided me with some of the best laughs I've had in ages, not to mention a few memories. My humble offering follows.
In the 60's a vertically challenged Scottish colleague was flying a SkyMeter from a carrier, [forget which one] off Subic Bay NAS in the Philippines, usually referred to by the name of the nearby town Olongapo, where all manner of delights could be sampled. In fact, in the words of one of my squadron mates, "down-town Olongapo is about as down-town as you are ever likely to get!" The following exchange took place between him and the 'D', [a very new fighter direction officer on board.] The aircraft suffered a Hydraulics failure, and the caption came up HYD1.
M2 from 107, I've got a HYD1, pigeons to Olongapo.
Say again 107!
[With more emphasis] M2, 107 I've got a HYD1, immediate pigeons to Olongapo.
Roger 107, pigeons 060/40.
The young D then phoned up Cmdr Air saying, Sir the wee Jocks' gone mad, he says he's got a hard on a needs a diversion to Olongapo!!
Well, it was funny at the time. Keep the tales coming please folks.