I know what you mean, I know how to design planes and the stresses which can be introduced into the airframe before failure...but that does not make it easier for me to fly!
What I do is try to get a window seat, that way I ca nsee outside what is happening, the attitude of the plane, identify any noises (eg flaps and so on) and memorize where the exits are, at least two, so I have a backup,
should anything go wrong.
Try to find some relaxing techniques which work for you; my wife does yoga and taught me how to breath to relax, and it helps!
Do not be tempted into taking any kind of medication to help you relax, if the s
t does hit the fan, you want to be alert and ready, not dozing off!
Finally, a small demonstration of the strength of the plane:
http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=pe9PVaFGl3o
Good luck!
