heli-ben,
Don't let those pprune sour pusses ruin your day. I know EXACTLY what you are asking, and why, and your are right to ask.
In flight school, we used to sit in our chair and "fly" around the area, making calls to each other, one acting as ground ATC, to be sure the patter was burned in our brain. While flying, observing and navigating, adding the radio and verbal workload can vastly overload a new pilot, unless the verbal patterns are run through so many times that they are nearly automatic.
Some basics of how to train yourself on radio usage (best done with an equally motivated newbie as a partner):
- Draw a simple map of your route on a blank paper
- Draw the typical ATC functions as circles on the map, barely overlapping, so you know who you will be talking to. there should be few areas where no commo is required (in the UK, that is! In the US, the opposite is true)
- In each circle, print boldly the ATC function's name, like "Bumfolk Ground" and "Pprunehater Center"
- Now "Fly" across this map in your mind, telling each in turn what they need and what you want (the essence of your call) and then anticipating what they will tell you.
- Burn this sequence in your brain so that the string of info is familiar to you
- Do NOT get hung up on the precise phrases. Speedbirds sound like they are strolling through their living rooms as they call Heathrow, they do NOT use typical "by the book " phrasology, and you do not need to worry if you flub a phrase. The things ATC needs to know are simple - Who the hell are you, where are you, what is your height, and what do you need him for? for example: "Tower (he knows which Tower he is, and you called on his frequency so even saying his place name is redundant!), Bell 1234 is on the south ramp with Foxtrot for departure westbound."
I still recall sitting in the mess hall, calling "Salt Shaker center, this is Bell 1234 at Plate, 4,000, estimating Water Glass at 35, Centerpiece, over!" Makes you a better pilot, but a lousy date.
Keep asking, and tell those real pros in the posts below who make fun of you to piss off, they were in your shoes a few months ago, I would bet, but NOW they are way above all that.
