From someone with a similar case, i expected to come on this forum and see the word "crazy" thrown around and was pleasantly suprised of that not being the case. I WAS a pilot until i had a nervous breakdown. Had many signs that i kept hidden for a few years. Putting on an act everyday i went to work and played the game so to speak. I was extremely unhappy, suicidal thoughts etc etc. I was aware of what depression was, however; never once thought that i was deep in it. It started to affect my physical health as well. I had many heart related tests due to dizzy spells and fainting episodes. I still didn't have an answer for these spells yet, but at least i knew my heart was strong.....
Finally it all came too much to handle and i fell apart. The hardest thing i think i've ever done is call a fellow pilot, who i very much respect and proceeded to tell him that i was going to hand in my resignation because i couldn't do the job anymore. After hearing everything i was going thru, he advised me to contact our pilot assistance program, which i did. That was the best advice i could have received at the time. I called the assistance program and again explained what i was feeling and how it was starting to affect all facets of my life, career and personal. The next step, after calling crew sched to book off the pairing i was starting the next day, was to go see a doctor?? Why go see a doctor if i was just in the wrong career and couldn't handle the "stress"? My problem was not a medical one, or so i thought. To make a long story shorter. I was diagnosed with depression and later on with Bi-Polar type II. My pilot career as it stands now, is over. But because of the exceptional airline i work for, i've continued on in another capacity and i'm extremely excited and happy. I'm on a mood stabilizer and anti-depressants and i feel great, better then i've felt in years!
The moral of the story......I had great support, personally and thru our Pilot assistance program. (i had never met this person before and it's amazing how much he supported me thru the whole ordeal!)
This Air Canada incident really struck home for me, as it was where i was heading eventually. I just couldn't continue the way i was and did the hardest thing i've ever had to do, i told someone......
I don't know this pilot's history or what his diagnosis will be, but it's important for us as pilots to be supportive and not ridicule or pass judgement. We do disjustice to our profession when we do this. It is an illness, no matter what people may think or say and should be treated as one......If we're more accepting of this as a disease and drop the stigma attached to mental illness, maybe we'll be able to avoid similar incidents in the future and encourage those suffering from it alone, to seek help.
As for my name etc, for now, i will keep it confidential. At least til i'm more confident that this is more accepted as an illness. Which i'm sure is still years away. At least i have the anonymity of the internet for now......
Last edited by AHM2002; 1st Feb 2008 at 19:10.