Well, my experience has been somewhere between the two.
Most men have treated me just as another pilot - and that's all I ask.
Why do I feel the need to ask? Because as I said before:-
Now and again I've met some twit who thinks I'm there for his benefit.
I've had them be rude to both my husband and me and sometimes pushed me to the point where I've had to be rude to them (doesn't make a nice atmosphere)!
Thank goodness it is only 1 in 100, but I can do without it.
Luckily, the vast majority of men I've met, and the instructors I've had, are like BEagle/dublinpilot/ShyTorque, etc. Nice, sensible and helpful.